Oh, I tried so hard not to feel [Tag :: Ella]

[KISTIN THEODORE CROSS !]

The silence seemed to grow louder as Kistin waited. He daren't speak in case he hurt her more. He was still as he stood, the only sound coming from his slowly decreasing rate of breathing. The silence was becoming intolerable, and he was finding it hard to bear. As he moved his hand tentatively towards Ella's, he suddenly became aware that her hand had actually moved on to his.

As her fingers filled the gaps between his, without looking at her, Kistin copied. His large, strong fingers latched on to her pretty, soft ones. However, within only a few moments, his fingers came away from hers as he felt her shuffle up and...hold on to him. Kistin was confused. He had almost destroyed what little remained of this pretty young woman's life...and yet...she was wrapping her arms around him. What was going on inside her head? Why was she doing this to herself? Why was she so willing to forgive what could have potentially "killed" the Ella she was...she is?

Her arms were loose around him, and he was unsure of what to do. However, his decision was made up as soon as he heard her voice. She was apologising. Yet the word was not the biggest shock. The tone of her voice worried him more. It sounded as if...

He turned to look at her, and he saw the tears he was hoping never to see, fall. She wasn't sobbing, no...just plain tears running down her face, as if they were unnoticed. As he looked at her, his eyes showing concern and sadness, he heard her last plea. And it was a plea rather than a comment. It sounded fearful, frightened...desperate, almost.

He couldn't do this to her. Vampires aren't meant to have hearts, but his heartstrings were being pulled at viciously. He had never had an issue on turning away from people - he was well-known for breaking people's hearts - but something stopped him from being so callous about this one. She had done something...she had broken some barrier in is head and in his heart. Suddenly, he could take it no more.

In one swift movement, he had pulled his arms around Ella as tightly as he dared, and he held her. He sat there, trying to allow her to dry her tears on his shoulder, and he embraced her tenderly. "Ella," he began, his throat dry and voice quiet, "Ella," he repeated. "I could never leave you, and..." he broke off, uncertain of how to end his sentence. "...and I never meant for you to think that. I..." He was struggling to find the right words. "I love you" sounded so corny and stupid. "...I care for you. I just...I don't want to be the person who hurts you."

He held her for a while longer, and ran his finger down her cheek, murmuring a cross between a comforting "shhh", and a soft "s'okay." He then sat in silence, just comforting her as much as he could.

[ELLA AMELIA SMITH !]

Ella Smith
Hold On To Me Love
You Know I Can't Stay Long

His hands were so different to hers. Her downcast eyes lingered on the joined limbs. His hands were larger and a bit rough, while hers were not the smoothest in the world from gripping her wand, but they were softer. They were also a lot smaller, she had never considered her hands small, but Kistin made it appear so. This could look normal to any other person she supposed, but there were differences that pointed out he was not human. His skin was pale, paler then hers, which took some doing, and then there was the temperature. Hers were warm with her blood, while his were cold, dead cold. The difference didn't bother her, in fact it only emphasised how much he not like everyone else, as everyone else did not eye her favourably. A friend was a rare occurrence for her. Impurities were not allowed to be together for long periods of time at Hogwarts and she was a Muggleborn so even some of the half-blood stayed clear of her encase of damaging their reputation even further. Even when she went home, she was too different now to contact her older friends from her childhood and it was too dangerous to try and make new ones.

Kistin had been one her big risks, rather than staying her sceptical shell hiding behind her normally impassive face, she had let Kistin see her, the true her. Now was her risk about to come tumbling down, cradle and all? She could feel his hesitation as she had her arms around him, maybe she should let go? Maybe she was just bugging him? She then noticed wet on her own shoulder and realised she was crying, she cursed herself; she really was a silly little girl. What had she been thinking? He was way older then her, as if he would be interested in her really. Suddenly those thoughts were pushed aside as he then wrapped his arms around her and she felt him hold her. She tightened her grip on him, now holding on to him like he was going to run away. Being so close to him allowed her to casually whip her eyes on his shoulder. However it also allowed her to feel something else. She could feel his muscled torso next to her chest feel his strength in her arms. A fire ran through her then calmed, she brushed it aside, she felt it was the wrong moment to be having those kinds of feelings. Those thoughts were really brushed aside when he spoke, and then her whole attention was on the moment again.

His words made no sense to her, he had every right to be angry at her, yet he wasn't. Moments of silences paced between them only broken by his comforting sounds of reassurance to her. She still had a head over his shoulder she looked at her watch then lent back out of their embrace so she could see his ice blue eyes, she also had a dry, humourless smile on her lips " Hurt?" A dark humourless chuckle joined her smile " everyday someone is trying to hurt me, I have been under the Cruciatus curse more times than I can remember, and I am constantly the chew toy of the Slytherins. " She eyed him, her scepticism then melted away and she looked softly at him, then a real smile crawled on her lips " We have only known each other for about 3 hours and yet it seems like we have known each other a lot longer" She then lent forward and kissed his cheek, she could still feel his taut muscles under her hands sending thrills of hormones running through her, being this close to him.

[KISTIN THEODORE CROSS !]

Kistin sat in silence as he felt her come closer, a look of sheer confusion on his face. He couldn't get over the fact that she was so forgiving of what had just happened. Her tears tore him to shreds, which was incredible. It's not that Kistin was a mean person normally...but he had had relationships over his century of life. Sure, the long ones were usually with vampires like him...but he had had his share of relationships with witches. So Kistin was no stranger to breaking a few hearts...but Ella had unlocked something inside him...something that he had kept locked since...since he lost his parents.

When Kistin lost his father, he grew even more attached to his brother. Evander was the only one Kistin cared about, for he had decided that he and his brother had to stick together...and...he had become lost inside himself...and he had never let anyone in. The Vampires were considered to be on the Dark Lord's side, and he himself had laid his allegiance (alongside his brother) to a coven run by followers of the Dark Lord. While he belonged somewhere now...he was still an outsider. Even more so, now that his heart had chosen, of its own accord, to attach itself so strongly to this muggleborn woman. She had unlocked his heart from its steadfast place, and now it was free to go where it chose...and it had chosen to reside with her, by the looks of it.

As he held her close, he felt her cling as a child would to its mother. He felt even worse about almost biting her...looking at the state the aftermath had left her in was worse than being forced to stand in the sunlight by far. He felt her head against his coat, and figured she was probably trying to wipe her tears away...he decided that he would try to cheer her up...and hopefully he wouldn't fail.

"Hey..."he said softly, with as much mock annoyance as he could muster. "I hope you're not wiping your snotty old nose on my jacket..." He half-smiled a little, yet as he comforted her and then spoke again, her reply was one he should have expected. She was right, so many people had probably hurt her in the past that it would be nothing new...

"You're right..." He said apologetically. "...I didn't mean it like that. I know that people hurt you a lot...that was a stupid thing to say. What I meant was...was that I didn't want to be like them. I didn't want to hurt you...or risk hurting you. I'm not some sadist like they all seem to be..." He said, referrring to the rest of the world. "I want to keep you safe...rather than being the one who causes you harm. That's what I meant."

But her next comment made his look at her and smile. "It does. It seems like I've known for for half my life...which is a long time..." but she cut him off with her kiss, leaving him stumped for a moment. He then turned to her, looked at her with a look of thought on his face...and then kissed her. Fully. On the lips. He didn't know why...but something compelled him to do it. Something told him it would make it all feel a whole lot better...

[ELLA AMELIA SMITH !]

Ella Smith
Hold On To Me Love
You Know I Can't Stay Long

When he spoke about wiping her nose, she chuckled the snuggled her face into his shoulder, digging her nose in lightly, she lifted her face out of his shoulder and told him abruptly " yep" and rested her head on his shoulder in their embrace. When he sarcasm at come ingot play though she had pulled away enough for her to be able to look him in the eye as he spoke. She could see in his eyes that he meant every word. She gazed her hazel eyes shining. Nothing about what they were doing made sense. It was maybe for that very reason she loved it so much. It was impulsive and abstract to any onlooker. But has their lips touched for a second time and they seemed to connect for a few moments, she really didn’t care what anyone else would think. As she pulled away, needing oxygen to breath, a smile touched her lips and energy lighted her eyes. The smile was excited yet subtle, the one you give after an adrenaline rush. Maybe he would become a drug to her, one she would crave, part of her hoped so, and it meant she would be with him. The other half was more optimistic, trying to reason with her mind that he was vampire, and if she got attached she would only be hurt.

She eyed him but then saw in her peripheral vision the sun setting and it reminded her of the quick glance to her watch. She looked at him longingly then said in a tone she did not try and hide her disappointment in, the kiss had awoken something else in her, something that craved and wanted selfishly, a more primitive side that made her feel alive. She looked more noticeably at the setting sun " I've got to go or there will be hell to pay if I am late". She looked at him " Next weekend is the last weekend before the hols. Can we meet again?" she was shocked internally at her own forwardness. She wanted to meet before she went back to her muggle home. No one would be there, her parents had told her they would be away on holiday and so she would have the house to herself to study for her NEWT exams. Maybe Kistin would be there too, that would be a good treat after revising. She hoped he would agree to meet again, in this cave, it seem to be a good spot for privacy. And they could learn more about each other.

(do the second encounter before fenrir that we discussed ages ago lols)