Darkness equalled safety. The girl lay encased in her own thoughts. She always longed for this blissful darkness in her pain. Ella knew her way in life now, she had no idea how long she had been with Fenrir, and it felt like years had trickled by. Every moment she was awake was in darkness or pain. At first she had dreamed of Kistin, dreamed of his red coat she had seen him in the first time they had met. She had dared to dream of rescue, that he would notice she disappeared. However Fenrir had got in her head and made her realise how stupid that idea was. She was a muggleborn, target practice, lowest of the low. Why would anyone care about her? Physical pain soon became a distraction from the mental. But in the end it was all pain. Well pain and darkness, even when she was awake she was in darkness; the basement had been pitch-black whenever the trapdoor was closed. She had learned to dread the light. Now there was irony, she never really felt the hunger pains thanks to her regular sessions with Fenrir.

Now it was darkness, now she was in bliss, no one could hurt her there. No one was there, it was just her. Ella felt like she was sinking into its mighty abyss. She never wanted to leave it, this dark comfort blanket she had wrapped around herself.

The sun raised, the sun set, and it did this three more times after that. Four days went by in her dark world. Ella often had nightmares, she would turn, whimper but at no one. Behind her eyes she saw Fenrir, his gleaming dark eyes, his chuckle. She would physically shiver. Whenever she thought about leaving her world she felt the pain. Ella had completely forgotten herself. She wondered what she was doing, numbness was the cure, but she felt something had been over looked. Something kept her from completely sinking, something made her risk the pain, but then she would forget and sink back into numbness. Ella's real body in the cave shifted, actually shifted rather move in discomfort. Ella felt something in her hand, another hand? Her consciousness shied away from the contact, danger probably. Yet it felt right to be there. Ella then felt the darkness slipping and panicked. She tried to grab on to that and not what was ever in her hand. The darkness lifted and Ella's eyes flickered open to fire burning and someone at her side.

Ella's eyes widened with fear, her reaction was to back away, which she did, snatching her hand back, she now realised this man had been holding her hand. She looked at him in pure fear, she was waiting for pain, and pain she was sure that was coming. Her entire body tensed in anticipation of it. She then noticed something, she was in a cave, but also she was not wearing her rags. The coat was bright red. Her eyes were drawn to that, eyeing it on herself. Although as the other person moved her head snapped back up again fear in her eyes. The red coat looked and felt so familiar.

The softness of the coat was like a distant memory, one she remembered having but couldn’t actually remember it. The man before was close, what did he want, pain, hadn’t she suffered enough? Is that why she was pulled from the darkness. She noticed the blankets all round her. Who had put those there, she never had blankets. She looked at the man again, into his blue eyes... ice blue eyes. Like with the coat they seemed to so far yet familiar. Then he spoke, he spoke about remembering, ink? Slytherins? All words that seemed to spark in her head but come to nothing. She then started to see it, her walking here to escape some boys, meeting a man, this man, wait no, a vampire. She tensed, her mind not listening to sense, this vision in the back of her head. It was a different person, which was not her, it didn’t feel like her. She felt as if these memories were not her own. Or where they?

She sat in silence, every muscle in her body waiting for him to pounce, waiting for the pain she knew was to come. She still looked at him fearfully, her breathing deep with a bit of wheeze to it. When he spoke again she looked down again at the shirt she was wearing like a nighty. At first, fear flooded her, could she trust him? What had he really done? She started to shake a little with anticipation. She then smelt the coat, she caught a whiff. It smelled like freshly cut pine needles. Something sparked in her head. That smell, she remembered it, she had smelt it before. Before she had known about the darkness. She tried to put a face to it. She looked up at the one in front of her. He seemed to be waiting for her, still shaking, Ella reached out attentively. She placed it on the side of his face, looking into his eyes. She caught the same fresh smell from him. She tried to remember, but she was having difficulties. She knew him, he was Kistin, but it felt like someone else knew him, not her. She longed for the darkness; it was so much simpler in there, only her, a numb free world to drift in.

Ella kept her hand there for a minute, silently looking at him with fearful, yet searching eyes. Until eventually she whispered in her weakened voice "Kistin". She let her hand drop. She had been leaning forward to touch him and so now lent back. She then remembered, and this time properly. Kistin was a Vampire, a person she trusted, the person who had stopped her form sinking completely away from the world. She looked at him disbelievingly, the fear ebbing away as realisation hit her. However then she recoiled, she could never trust her sight, it played tricks on her. Was this real or just a means to make her hurt more. She then whispered so quietly, no one would have normally heard her, but he was Vampire, he would hear." Is this real" Ella could not believe her nightmares would end just like that, knights in shining armour don’t exist.